John came with me to my Buddhist study meeting last night and during the last half of the meeting, we had an open discussion. I was able to share a little bit of my experience from the past few years and I was very glad that I did. I wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to explain what my experience has been like, but I mentioned briefly about how the voices that I hear used to threaten me when I chanted. I also told about how they threatened my husband and my dad, as well as other family members, but that now the voices don’t threaten me anymore. I had stopped chanting for about a month and after my mom left, I decided that I would start chanting again. This was in June 2011 and I’ve been chanting regularly ever since.
This morning I really chanted for our happy marriage and better communication between us. I also chanted to challenge my weaknesses and to live each day with joy and appreciation. Buddhism is very encouraging, so every time I read an article, chant, or attend a meeting, I leave feeling better than I did before. I really want to encourage other people, especially with my memoir. I am writing my memoir to share my experience, and to inspire and encourage other people – especially women. At this time in our society, we really need to focus on inner change, especially me. I have a tendency to figure out everything that’s wrong with the disembodied voices that I hear in my head. Nothing that they’ve said has ever made sense, but sometimes I still get angry about what has happened in the past. If I focus on myself, and challenging my own weaknesses and negativity, then I am less worried about the voices and what other people say. This year, I’m looking forward to finishing my memoir.
Happy New Year!
It’s nice feeling when you can be yourself and others do not disappoint you when you share your diagnosis with them.
Buddhism is an interesting practice to me, I wouldn’t mind learning more about it, especially to practice meditation and have a better understanding of myself.
I am very excited for you about your memoir.
Hi Ashley! Thank you for writing! My Buddhist practice provides incredible support and encouragement for me, so I really enjoy sharing it with others. Please feel free to email me with any questions you might have about Buddhism. Also, the website http://www.sgi-usa.org has lots of information and resources about the Buddhist organization I belong to, as well as local groups. I mentioned one of your blog posts in a post I wrote a few weeks ago for CureTalk. The link is on the CureTalk page of my blog. The name of the article is called “Schizophrenia As An Excuse for Violence” if you’d like to take a look. Thank you Ashley!
Jen
Hi Jen,
Thank you for responding to my comment and interest into Buddhism. I will look into this practice because it seems to inevitably come into my life through the peers I associate with online and in-person who exercise its principles and beliefs as a way to help cope with mental illness and life in general.
I read the article you wrote for CureTalk, “Schizophrenia As An Excuse for Violence,” and I liked your philosophy and the content, message, and educating points. You stated: “I believe that the vast majority of people suffering from mental illness never become violent, and that most violent people are not mentally ill.”
I appreciate your incorporation my blog entry from July 27, 2012 on Overcoming Schizophrenia: “How Schizophrenia is Portrayed in Media,” which shares my opinion on the way media discusses schizophrenia- a largely misunderstood and misrepresented group of individuals. Thank you- I was unaware that my blog and opinion influenced you and your readers- I appreciate the support!
P.S. I look forward to reading your blog more and to hear from you again.
Hello Ashley,
Thank you for your kind message! Yes! I believe that your writing, experiences, and website are a wonderful source of inspiration and hope for anyone suffering from schizophrenia or mental illness. I plan to keep writing!
Jen